La Compania dei Belli, Allegri Cazzari

The way I love you will outlast every calendar, clock, 

and every toll of every bell that will ever be cast.

So this is it. I don't really know how to jump into this night expressing myself sincerely. I've tip-toed around this subject carefully all year because how can I do justice to this? It's just a bunch of kids, a group from the block or more commonly known as "La Compania dei Belli, Allegri Cazzari." They were my game-changer and one of the most important aspects of my year without a doubt.


Their history is almost as complicated as their dynamics and gossip but the basics are easy enough. Once upon a time, five kids within five streets were born all within five months of each other. Never apart, their friendships grew as they did and somehow, 18 years later, 5 kids grew into 40 friends. In a city oh-so big, it's a neighborhood oh-so tiny where everyone knows everyone which was both my blessing and burden. My title of "the American girl" wouldn't wear off for the longest time. That finally was ditched as Eleonora, the host sister I never had and one of my best friends, opened up her friends, city and heart to me. From my birthday to my crying hospital mess, to New Years to everything else then and now, I've realized I've got this girl for life; I can't shake her. The best part is the lack of difference I feel between cool Sunday evenings on a park bench or early summer mornings on Skype catching up with my girl. And anyway, so happened to be my transformation - Eleonora's foreign friend - the American girl - Natalie - Natty.

The development was well worth the wait and I feel like a major tool talking about, "Oh you know, just me and my 30 closest friends," But hey, that's exactly what it was. On a given Saturday night I can find a handful of them waiting at the same spot but always for different fun. I was a lot of things with them - sad and exhilerated and happy and frustrated and ridiculous and confused but never bored.

I got average grades in high school English and all I've done lately is blog, so I don't have expressions or words to explain the bursting love I have pouring from my heart for them. I don't know what it was but something about...

My first "Boys' Night Out (with Natty). The thrill of 3AM bike rides to that bridge above the highway. About my best friend ringing my doorbell unexpected because he missed me after two days apart. The concern for the girls never allowed to walk home alone. The pain in the stomachs of those laughing at my latest foreigner mistake. My first cry in front of them. Going over to another house just to pass out on their couch. The fearlessness of calling them on their nonsense. Opening someone else's fridge without asking permission because I can. Knowing their siblings. Knowing their pasts.
And the hours and beers and laughs and experiences that we've now shared.

 

That was my year, all I ever needed and more. They are ridiculous and dramatic and loud and perfect and I've never felt more loved by such messed up people in all my life! Ahh give me one more chance and I'd do it all exactly the same.

This relationship formed between Christmas and summertime was my best choice and most stupid mistake. How could I possibly let them go now? Coming home from Tuscany with the girls all bronzed and relaxed, I wrote to them on Facebook saying I wouldn't love anything more than spending my last night out with them like a usual good time. That's all; I'm a fairly low-maintenance girl.

However, when I slipped into my summer dress, smacked on some red lipstick and kissed Mamma Carla goodnight (warning her not to wait up or she wouldn't get any sleep), I should have known better. My plan was to meet everyone at Giulia's for dinner and the numbers in our company had me soaring on cloud nine. I couldn't be happier to see everyone but more distraught to say goodbye soon enough. Our plan was to put that negativity in the back of our heads and have a good time by sweeping it under the rug.

And what says classic denial like.... a good kidnapping? I was swooned to a car, shipped to a house, thrown into a closet and forced into a prom dress. What? Like I said, this is no surprise; I should have seen this coming. Instead of bringing me back to Giulia's like normal people, my escorts followed the sounds of the wedding chants. They brought me to my very own matrimony in the beautiful hills of Bologna overlooking the whole city.

"Guys I can really open this beer by myself."

"And when it explodes all over your princess dress?"
"...Okay, Ema take care of me."  

There was a priest, a choir, witnesses, escorts and a map marked with every Italian city my eyes have been blessed by. It wasn't my first wedding that I expected but I would have no other love stronger than the one "between you, us and Italy that will live on forever." There was no rice, so we threw leaves... I kissed a map, not a boy... we celebrated with beers and without rings.


This is the part that gets tricky. I can't tell you how loved I felt or invincible I was. This was an actual perfect night. At the end of it, I did say goodbye and goodnight to some people who have completely changed my life and views. But it was more of a "catchya later" kind of scene. Few tears and lots of hugs assured me that I'll be back soon. We all know that, so why waste a good night on some unnecessary sappiness? The true few that lasted the night stumbled down the street at 10AM after 4 hours of sleep like zombies. I begged Michele at the coffee shop for his strongest concoction and he goes, "Oh honey, I knew that's what you needed the second you walked in."

So how will I say goodbye to all this?! Where did my time go? Everything now feels rushed and extremely fast paced so my biggest anxiety is to be sure I'm soaking everything in well. The last days were consumed by goodbyes, thoughts of my year and lots of terribly difficult packing. I can't say I would have done many things differently. Like every other year, there was the good and the bad but nothing that didn't contribute to the person I am writing to you today. I'd be lying if I didn't say that Compania dei Belli, Allegri Cazzari had nothing to do with that because the company of those beautiful, pretty screw ups has changed me forever. I. Love. You.

I spy a monster in my wedding gown..

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard?