The Now & The Next

So... there's that? I wish I could just say the end, close the chapter and sign off the blog. I've been home for nearly two months but this is far from over.

Hi Mom :D

I've kept myself busy since my arrival home (to the extent of calling myself a nomad) yet my mind wanders twice as much as I do. I can still walk my way around Bologna by vivid memory or recognize Fede's sweet smell when he's wrapped up in his robe fresh out of the shower. I still hear Luca calling for water in English to get my attention and make me laugh or my classmates rattling off fresh material to the scariest teachers. I know the shape of Eleonora's thin hands and the freedom of venting with Michi. Cuddling with Yle, Ali, Glo and Ele is irreplaceable. Sometimes I grab an extra yogurt out of the fridge for Mamma Carla out of pure habit. So what's a girl to do? With a case of nostalgia this serious, my only prescription is that booked plane ticket and a countdown to December 27. I'll be back home soon enough.

False Advertising

In the meantime.... evidently I'm "changed." Sure, I shop at different stores and prefer smaller, stronger coffees; I might have had one too many gelatos (no regrets) or not enough haircuts but I came home convinced I was still me. That's the truth more or less but I couldn't fool anyone. No one disappears for ten months to a foreign country and comes home the same person. I can't specifically explain the new parts of me but the collaboration has formed better perspective after seeing different things. I got insight not only on the world outside but also on my little one at home. Everyone talks about this "culture shock" once we start seeing things during our exchange year that surprise us. What I wasn't prepared for was that same feeling upon my arrival home. All the students joke about how overrated the "beauty of diversity" was that AFS flaunted until we actually experienced it for ourselves. In those lessons, I've begun to appreciate the better parts of both my countries. But geeze louise, I miss those good Italian habits so much my heart hurts.

This princess 

 

is pampered.

Probably the most rewarding (most definitely the hardest) part of coming home is to see who is still there waiting for you. First and foremost, there has always been my fabulous four. How could I have even done any of this without my parents and sisters? I don't really have words to express my gratitude but luckily with them I've never needed any. Things just make sense. I say, "I love you" and they'll roll their eyes as if it's something they don't know.

 

It's taken me a little while to realize that I'm not the only one who has lived these last ten months. My friends are changed, their stories are different. We've all had our fun and heartaches yet now we seem to have taken completely different routes. Does it matter if we're traveling different roads as long as we stay on the same map, crossing paths every once in a blue moon? I bounced around a lot last summer having fun with anyone ready for a good time (YOLO). Now that I'm home, I know the value of a "true few." What I see as important in a friendship and the priorities/values I see in my peers have become all clearer to me, what matters now is sticking with those who have always meant the most to me. I know who my real friends are and we've picked up exactly where we left off. That is real beauty.

Normandy Beach, NJ

 

It has taken me nearly two months time to really get a grasp on things. I'm letting go, catching up and figuring out how to live in the middle of two lives. Geeze Hannah Montana taught me it wasn't always fun and games but I'm trying to get some balance in the best of both worlds ;)

Packing to/from Italy, I knelt before the same empty suitcase with entirely different perspective... what I need the most and will take with me everywhere is not usually tangible. I instead carry the necessities in my heart and head. These experiences - American, Italian and international - have made me who I am. The point (I think) is to keep where I'm from, where I'm going and who I am in sight along the way. And hey - once this became clear, my suitcase got a whole lot lighter.

And what's next? Besides growing so much I can feel my brain stretch, I know I need some way to occupy my time. So my sisters kicked my butt into shape and gave me enough lists to write a book or satisfy Monica from Friends...
I got my first job ever bussing and schmoozing at a golf course.
I tour colleges like a pro.
I harass my mother.
I make bank babysitting.
I study.
I register to become a certified nurse's assistant.
I get my driver's permit.
& I.... pack. Yeah, about that whole wanderlust thing? Once you catch the bug, the only cure is continued travels.

From Watertown to DC....

To Boston and Rhode Island

I won't stay put too long :) 

Bad days made better by good cuddles.      Get in loser, we're going shopping.

Babymamma at her finest....

 

During late night cuddles with Rocky, I wondered how I could possibly stay in Watertown much longer (no offense, it's not you it's me). If my sign to go was any bigger it would have been neon letters written across my vast front yard. Apparently Ghana is my next fate. Yes, read that again. September 3rd, I leave for Africa. A small village has been adopted by this mission team, continuing to receive help and develop over the years. Our project for this two-week stay will be the construction of their very first well (since they currently lack a clean water source), development in the computer lab (the only one for miles and miles) and playful relationship building with the hundreds of schoolchildren. Like most of my other mission trips, any of my teammates are probably old enough to be my (grand)parent. I learned from Italy that no amount of mental preparation can get me ready for what I'm about to see. If we thought I gained perspective there, let's just see how much Ghana can knock me off my feet.

Awombrew, Ghana

Don't mind my silence for the next two weeks, I'll be busy soaking up Ghana, avoiding sun/mosquitoes and celebrating my BIRTHDAY! My 16th year has definitely been one of the most interesting so what better way to end it? Wish me luck. I promise nothing but a new me upon return.

Happy end of summer, I hope you're getting what you need and loving what you do. 

What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.