The End?

I know there have been times when I've managed to lose your attention throughout the year during my periods of silence. Think of it as a good sign though, if you can. Imagine that I'm so busy and having so much fun that I don't honestly have the time to sit on my bum and talk about how great Italy is for the billionth time. The best part is that's the truth. The end of school led me to a life of freedom that I had (and hated) back in September. Without jumping into school upon my arrival, it felt like I had nobody. I couldn't speak or even leave my front steps without getting lost. That was the most suffocated this free bird has ever felt but thank the Lord our #1 man kept me on my feet. And Fede continues to do so because when he wakes up, the house wakes up. The max I've managed to sleep is 10.15.... WHAT IS SUMMER BEFORE NOON?! The tables have turned and I'm has happy//free//busy//tired as can be. So what's the lastest news, what's the hot gossip, the latest jams? The first week of summer I took it slow. I caught up on some sleep and fooled around with some friends. But then Thursday I hopped on a pullman with my usual crew and made my way to Tuscany. Remember Rome Camp, Cesenatico Camp, Middle-Year Camp? It's only logical with such little time left that AFS would prepare a final camp. 

 

Thanks to the earthquakes, we had to ditch the campus-pool-food hall destination much to our dismay. However, the pullman brought us somewhere nearly as promising and twice as beautiful. The nature reserve was one of the most calming, organic and water-dried areas I've visited. You can imagine their delight when we couldn't resist the 90 degree heat anymore and broke out into a water fight battle. oops! We're just a bunch of foreigners who apparently didn't think twice. Their consumption of water is kept low and their plants seem nearly starving but it's a way of life proving how little we are capable of using while staying well and healthy. Minimalists - I love them - they hate us! 

So Thursday afternoon arriving after the longest, most boring ride of our lives, the jokes and the languages and the camp games started up as fast as if they had never stopped. I don't remember the last time I've had such an abundance of time with my foreign freaks. I'm proud of the distance that we have between each other - it means that the Italians are keeping us busy and treating us right. Above all, I'm proud of the family that we are. In the time that everyone was organizing their bags and dorms, I stood in the hallway leaning against an emergency exit. It looked like a mini-dorm hall and sounded like one too. How blessed am I that I could enter into any of these rooms, crying or laughing or embarrassed or confused, and be understood, comforted and helped by any of them? Obviously some of us know each other better than others but that's never mattered. Leaving familiarity, nobody can understand you as someone who's just as out of their element as you are. Our volunteers know us well enough by now - zero productivity will be seen until we're all caught up and find our normal intercultural living style again. The excess of card games, ball playing and Ninja jumping made me feel 11 years old back at summer camp again. I still cannot find content in any other way that compares to the one of the simplicity of a ball and good friends. The fun had and the scratches scraped create a summer, no?

What AFS event would be an AFS event without someone asking us questions in order to steal the breath right out of our throats? The emotional roller coaster they put us on in those four days has clearly been tested and successful in its days. It started the first night as they sat us around a table of half lit candles. They encouraged each of us to stand before the group and blow out a candle for something that went bad this year or light another for the good. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. What was said I'll never reveal! I listened as my thoughts fluttered from the lips of these people who have lived such incredibly different lives as mine but who feel exactly the same.

Ti Voglio Tanto, Tanto Bene :) 

That's Pronpon. Or Pompron. Or something like that. Whatever, the Thai guy.
I had barely said two words to him since the beginning of the year since he
remained with headphones in his ears and books in his hands always - completely
unapproachable and really closed off. I couldn't even recognize the open, laughing
and loved little guy who arrived in Tuscany. He's very reserved and has such respect
(especially for us girls) but the life leap he's made this year has left me with my jaw
dropped open wide. I wish him nothing but the best of luck. 

As if the first night wasn't hard enough, they really wanted to knock us off our feet in round two. Laying down in groups of seven, heads touching to form a star form not nearly as beautiful as the ones that shined back at us, we spent the night in complete silence. A volunteer read us a list of questions in order to imagine life from the station of Bologna until the end of my summer in the States. What will it be like to touch your parents? Will they see you differently? Who will understand you? Can they comprehend the impact of your experience? How fast can you recuperate ten months of distance? Will you be more likely to make the typical PB&J lunch or the typical pasta with ragu plate? What can you consider your culture when you stand between country lines? Will the consistency of hearing your mother language overwhelm you? If Ela wasn't such a little cuddle monster, I think she would have been tired of wiping my stupid tears by now. I don't think I have the emotional capacity to keep doing this!

My Norwegian princess already on her way home!
Miss you, doll.

The volunteers got the hint and let us have some real fun in our last full day, Saturday. The Talent Show that night would offer German dancing, Thai singing, Russian bar songs, South American I've-got-dance-in-my-blood moves, Japanese kid games and of course the Norwegian hipster guitarist. All this culture in all its beauty makes me super ashamed of the dancing that goes down at prom and Karma. Geeze louise, my awkwardness makes where I'm from obvious but my curiosity has made me become the "citizen of the world" AFS was pushing for (I still hate giving them credit - it's just as painful as confessing to your mom when she's right). My last name and newfound passion for the Spanish language find me always in the middle of the South Americans. I can pick up a little on their language and well enough on their jokes. I've been accepted as the wannabe and loved as one too because even sitting down for a meal, I'll suddenly find the table fills up with these kids and I can't help but wonder, "How do I always get here with you fools?" They tell me that, like it or not, I'm one of them at heart.... I just need a little.... tweaking. 

Oddly enough, our bond created some tense conversation. Passing the year with my "overly passionate" classmates, I've gotten incredibly used to making a good social or cultural argument. The difficulties USA citizens inflict on those of South America aren't accurate to my fellow USA exchange students. The racism, immigrant difficulties and stereotypical impressions aren't entirely clear to them. The US kids were right to tell the South Americans to back off by pointing off that this year has taught us to disregard any "typical" views of a country - you cannot generalize any population (I'm not the States. Ela isn't Honduras. Marie isn't Germany.). However, their inability to recognize the actions of the rest of our population had me on my feet admitting that we aren't nearly as glamourous as we'd like to think we are. Playing a game in which, after stating a social/political fact, we stood on one side or the other to declare our position got some real blood moving. Oh goodness gracious, one year in Italy and they've taught me how to raise my voice! I got a little heated up before shutting up for a minute and realizing my tone was higher than I intended. Italians are destroying me; this is ridiculous. The best part? The Italian versions of ourselves that we've become had us hugging and laughing all together five minutes later. 

So all that nonsense I said about living in the moment, not thinking of the negative, YOLO, etc? It's all disappeared. I'm getting nervous. I realized my problem once one of the kids this weekend asked of if she should feel like she's going home or leaving home. That's what this is for us. This isn't two months in a dorm room in another country. This is a life created from scratch learning to love new people and new ways. The cool part is that we did it together; the best part is that we all pulled through personally on our own. 

 Norway got all worn out heheh.

"You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place, like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and place because you’ll never be this way ever again."

Friends in (Un)Familiar Places

Before parting for Italy, I don't think I had ever fully appreciated the beauty of technology. Think about it a second and it makes complete sense. When a 5.8 earthquake hit my city at a ridiculous hour of the morning, my parents knew as soon as I did. Above all, my ability to remain in contact with the people I needed the most kept me moving with such ease. Miles can't ruin someone's determination to really be there for you. Don't listen to what the haters say, long distant friendships are real. I have 100% faith. Babies in Watertown, artists in Hartford, sisters in DC, Canadians in Sicily... I have never been further from or closer to them. If you aren't bored of listening to talk about myself yet (because geeze louise I know I am), do this the right way -

Click.       Prepare.       Post Time! 
Listen.      Read.          Appreciate. 

Let's start with my little men. Do you know how terrified I was to leave all my mini-people at home fearing that I would find myself there ten months later completely forgotten? What a joke. I left Ethan a stumbling-around monster proud of his "yes" and "no" answers. How weird is it to watch him grow up, not in front of my eyes, but on my screen into the little boy running around screaming and shouting the words he's so quickly learned? Don't worry, my name has made it into his vocabulary and my love has remained in his heart! My troublemaker Owen marched his way to KINDERGARTEN this September. Goodness gracious, I feel so old. I'm so proud of that little guy. Since the beginning of the year, we've been discussing where exactly I've disappeared to. "Hey Owen, remember that time you took a plane? I took one too. It was a suuuuper long ride and I went over the beach and now I'm in Italy. You get it?""Oh yeah... so you're like near Texas and stuff?" Good enough, that'll do for Owen. They can't understand where I've gone or if/when I'm coming back but catching 2 minutes of their attention on screen has consistently brightened my day. I can't wait to get back to disturb everyone at naptime and to cuddle whenever, wherever.

Our next case in the Series of Fortunate Friends proves to be even more peculiar. That would be Chaz, the nearly sophomore at Hartford University studying artsy stuff. I've met him...4 times maybe? We ran into each other at a few parties over the summer. We happened to be both bored out of our minds one late fall afternoon and we Skyped. And so it goes, the end. He's become a real friend to me. I don't know how tall he is and I don't remember what kind of car he drives but I know he's been a consistent and good listener whenever needed. To me, that's all what really matters. Sometimes it this feels like some weird 8th grade AOLChat story considering our lack of 3D-contact but nobody ever laid ground rules for a bro life. How cool is that? Ok scratch that and let's be honest, how weird is that?

I hate myself for even mentioning this beast in a post about how much I love people blah, blah, blah. However, I'll be calling HOT93.7 TELL'EM WHY YOU MAD as soon as I get home to report the presence of this little monster, aka my replacement. He has invaded my home and stolen the hearts of my parents. Excuse me, Little Pig, who do you think you are? I don't expect we'll get along well. #ThingsIHate.

PS. Did anyone else notice that when one of the Miranda sisters moves out, another dog arrives? Karen and Ray, your problems are serious.

This is a face we all know well by now, no? That would be mah soul sista with one of the two babies who have captured her heart (timeout- remember when Emily hated any human under 4 ft. tall?). Apart from our pride that her motherly loving has finally kicked in, I've loved watching her settle into this new DC life. Her courage to ditch our scene and throw herself into the sweet city life far away was a great development to watch unfold. And hey, doesn't that story sound familiar? Maybe that's what made her so good for me this year. I have never been so far away from her but we've never gotten along better. Coincidence? "Maybe it's a yes, maybe it's a no." Either way, there was nothing more reassuring than knowing that no matter the hour, no matter the day, Emily was never more than a telephone call or a quick email away. My Life Would Suck Without You, DGuetta. How clique would it be to say that you've been there for all the best of the good and the worst of the bad? Grazie. 

Last but not least :) It's time for a special shout-out to my birthday princess. This is Anna. Do you recognize her? You shouldn't creeps. We barely know each other so any pictures or stories you think you might know her from aren't even real. Back in the day when I was a little girl with naive, bright eyes in the big, bad city of Rome, I hit it off with Canadians (....who would have thought). The small world that we live in lead Anna to Rome with Aurelie, the Canadian living in Bologna with me // her classmate at home. We passed the free time in those two or three days together and then said goodbye. "Hey, it was nice meeting you, see you in 10 months... keep it real." Buuuut that wasn't the end of it. Annacanada just couldn't get enough of me so now the Bologna-Sicily Skype sessions and regular Facebook chatting are completely normal. The worst/weirdest is when I miss her. After few days we go without talking, there's nothing I would love more just to go grab a cup of coffee with my girl. Don't worry, road trips between Montreal and CT are already being arranged. I love her except for the times she creeps me out by having an extraordinary similar personality. Oh whatever, she's my foreign twin - no doubt. And guess what? JOYEUX ANNIVERSAIRE! The little lady turned 18 this week. Goodness gracious how fast the kids grow up these days. Anyways, I know she likes to blog-stalk occasionally allora volevo solo salutare mia principessa e dovevo confessare quanto ti voglio bene. 

Don't you dare assume that these are the only far away friends I've managed to keep. If I'm a loser, at least it's not that bad. Staying so far away for so long has really helped me understand not only who my real friends are and who's been there for me but also what our most important qualities are. At the end of the day, I'm here and you're there. We've had ten completely different months; so what keeps us together? The luvin' and the laughin', yeah, yeah, but I do not think I was in any position to understand what the values mattered until I separated myself from everything I was used to. I don't expect for the weirdness to last too long before I go right back to these people with the normality of the good times we've been used to for so long. 

I do not care what car you drive. Where you live. If you know someone who knows someone who knows someone. If your clothes are this years cutting edge. If you are A list or B list or never heard of you list. If your trust fund is unlimited. I only care about the words that flutter from your mind. They are the only thing you own. The only thing I will remember you by. I will not fall in love with your bones or skin. I will not fall in love with the places you have been. I will not fall in love with anything but the words that flutter from your extraordinary mind.

Represent That 3BSC Style

So we've all imagined how strange it must have been for me finally entering into the big, bad world of public schooling but I never imagined how strange it would be leaving that very same place. I wandered around the halls of Sabin this week pointing out all the goodness. These are the emergency stairs where I fainted... This is where I found 30 euros on the floor... This is the coffee machine I used every morning, waiting/gossiping in line with Elena... This is the boys' bathroom (aka the Smoking Lounge)... This is the crack from the earthquake... This is the hall monitor whom I've grown to love... This is where I check in my late arrivals because my poor American body just can't handle this busybody Italian lifestyle...This is the classroom of the pretty seniors in the school... etc. What a place, what a school. Sincerely I arrived quite the nervous wreck. Apart from the general aspect of becoming a public school attendant, any time I told the kids that yeah, I would be going to Sabin this year, I got some really assuring wide-eyed glances with responses like, "Oh... good luck."

My Artsy Girl's Fine Work

But do you know what, haters? Thanks but the luck wasn't necessary, I kicked that school year's butt and had a great time. My first days at school felt like something straight out of Mean Girls as I tried to get myself settled. I had been guided to a buzzing classroom on the third floor at the end of the hallway silenced by my presence. I took the single, empty seat after mumbling a timid introduction and I had never felt more out of my zone or embarrassed. How will I manage to open up to a class of 18 students who have passed two years growing and learning and fighting together? This is 3BSC. Bring it on.

4 Reasons 4 2 Much Fun in
10 Lovely Months

It didn't take me long to realize that Lussy, Vero, Denny, Alis, Elena, Gaia, Bea, Giulia, Chiara, Glo, Yle, Laslo, Fabri, Giorgia, Daniele, Lambo, Elisa and Francesca did not bite and weren't nearly as scary as I imagined. Getting a good class is a strike of luck; mine was radiant with expression and famous for trouble-making. They were patient with my struggles and sympathetic with my tears of frustration or homesickness, sincere with their love and clever with their teasing jokes.  Yeah, sure, there were good days and bad days and even I managed to get so involved in the class arguments about politics, society, whatever and whoever that I've ended a day on bad terms with someone but that never stopped us from walking in the next day with hugs and fresh starts. Oh goodness gracious, stop me here - I miss them already.

What exactly can you see from
those windows...? ->

Earth Day!

Typical Earthquake Response

But guess what? It's over. School has finished and nearly nobody in my class has the risk of being held back. We did it! I don't think I saw June coming so quickly. Let's be real - the beginning was a drag. School was my prison and Italian, like a kid kicking your bruise asking why it hurts, surrounded me nagging, "Why don't you understand yet?" But it was here that I leaned back against a girls' bathroom sink in late November during a break, sipping my coffee, silently absorbing the conversation and understood each and every word (finally). It was here that I picked up on Bolognese slang and the quirks of Italian teenage life. It was here that I explored the wonders of Social Science, the beauty of all history before British v. French colonists and the mind-blowing world of philosophy. It was here that I made friendships all on my own without the help or influence from the family, the church, Bianca, Eleonora, etc.

I didn't really know what to expect at the end of the school year. Isn't it supposed to be like this? To do it Italian style, wine is required at a ridiculous hour of the morning, food is supplied always and everyone leaves by 1pm soaked by bottled water.

At the end-of-the-year 3BSC class dinner we raised our wine glasses and drank to our time together. Each one of them confessed their love for their little American girl and sadness to see me go. It seemed like each one of them mentioned my light sense of humor and easy smile. Living a lesson I didn't even realize I was capable of teaching, I felt like Annie, never fully dressed without her smile.

I told them how sincerely special they were and how much they had helped me grow. I made them understand that any progress I made this year wouldn't have been possible without them. They were my teachers and my support and my friends and my haters! But I refused to say goodbye. I left it at, "See you later; catch you on the flip side" because I don't expect this to be a forever thing. I'll be back and I don't think there's anyone who doubts it. Karen and Ray are already making bets on how soon that plane ticket NY to Rome will be purchased again.


For a final hoorah of the class before summer, we made a beach day out of earthquake vacation days and cooked a class dinner... we were even nearly all present! Arriving at Riccione, I took one look at the sky and remembered a certain trip to North Carolina Emily, Katie and I took some time back. The clouds were wanderlessly glooming around but it was still weirdly hot. It's not until you get home and can't sleep that night that you realize how capable the sun is of frying you on days like that. So I made a point to lotion-up, but not everyone was so clever. Volleyball, naps, card games, fresh water, quiet beach, good jokes and great company - this is all I could have asked for.

  

“I don’t know when we’ll see each other again or what the world will be like when we do. We may both have seen many horrible things. But I will think of you every time I need to be reminded that there is beauty and goodness in the world.”